Support our Nation today - please donate here
Culture

Watch: Two criminally unfunny blokes take aim at the Welsh language

25 Jul 2023 2 minute read
Terrible comics Bell and Spurling

Just when you think you’ve seen the worst attempt at lazy and lame stereotyping of Welsh, two criminally unfunny blokes have outdone the opposition by quite some distance.

Martin Bell and Johnny Spurling, who are allegedly ‘entertainers’ from Essex, are the names of the ‘comic geniuses’ who have come up with the worst take on Welsh place names we’ve ever had the misfortune to witness.

Like a middle-aged Beavis and Butthead appealing to those who think that Bernard Manning and Roy Chubby Brown are the cutting edge of comedy, these two ‘jokers’ make the most obvious, tiresome tropes about Welsh words.

It’s lazy, pathetic and so lacking in any inventiveness you wonder why they even bothered.

However, it all becomes clear when you realise they make regular guest appearances on Nigel Farage’s GB News show as the ‘entertainment’.

Being court jesters for Nasty Nige has obviously taken its toll on them. One half of the duo resembles a human mid-life crisis who has spent too long in the tanning salon, while the other acts like a massive infant who thinks blowing a raspberry is a hilarious punchline.

He’s no Harry Secombe on that front either!

A cursory search of Google leads us to a Wiki page for Bell and Spurling, who are described as ‘an English musical duo’.

The page informs us that they formed in the 1990s and are best known for the single, ‘Sven, Sven, Sven’, which reached number seven in the UK Singles Chart in October 2001. The song was inspired by the England football team’s 5–1 victory against Germany.

Their successes since then appear to be the entertainment equivalent of tumbleweed.

There is much hilarity when we read: ‘In 2018, ready for the World Cup in Russia the duo revamped their classic ‘Sven, Sven, Sven’ and released ‘Gareth, Gareth, Gareth’. It was not a hit.’

We are then informed (with a straight face) ‘Bell and Spurling currently present a weekly talk show on Brentwood community radio station Phoenix FM.’

If this is the level of your ‘comedy talent’ boys, you should have packed it in a long time ago.


Support our Nation today

For the price of a cup of coffee a month you can help us create an independent, not-for-profit, national news service for the people of Wales, by the people of Wales.

Subscribe
Notify of
guest
20 Comments
Oldest
Newest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
YrArwr
YrArwr
11 months ago

Why give these two tw*ts airtime?

Cathy Jones
Cathy Jones
11 months ago

These guys are as funny as seeing a beloved family pet being savaged by an escaped leopard….. Which is exactly what I would like to see happen to them. Imagine the look on their stupid faces as a recently self-liberated Panthera pardus chews on their flabby legs.

Null
Null
11 months ago

Essex! Say no more.

Nia James
Nia James
11 months ago

The cutting edge of Imperialist Brexit comedy.

Glwyo
Glwyo
11 months ago

I feel this article missed a trick not giving these anthropomorphic termite hills a sarcastically glowing review.

Fi yn unig
Fi yn unig
11 months ago

If only wasting space was a criminal offence. They’d have been charged, tried, convicted and jailed by now.

Gary H
Gary H
11 months ago

Can’t see what’s wrong with this. I couldn’t stop laughing. I always enjoy English idiots making arseholes of themselves. Lol

Bethan
Bethan
11 months ago

Have they made a video about how unfair it is that ‘comedians’ are being ‘cancelled’ by ‘wokeness’ because no venues want to book them yet? They seem exactly the type to do that in that they have no talent, seem to have the emotional intelligence of six year olds, are on a mission to be unpopular and I hadn’t heard of them before reading this article.

Pascal Lafargue
Pascal Lafargue
11 months ago

They are just part of these useful idiots whose behaviours help remind everybody that Wales is a proper and distinct nation.

Bethan
Bethan
11 months ago

That’s true. Actually I worry sometimes about who might be following GB News and taking it seriously. I hoped that it wasn’t anyone with any real power or influence. Now having witnessed these two in action… I’m less concerned.

Battleship Pojenkins
Battleship Pojenkins
11 months ago

No wonder they’re part of Farage’s GB Spews anti EU deregulation lot, those two gimps wouldn’t pass as comedians under the Trades Description Act.

David Pearn
David Pearn
11 months ago

They are about as funny as toothache, give up you really are NOT funny at all.

Windy
Windy
11 months ago
Reply to  David Pearn

That why they’re driving round in a car, no theatre manager in their right mind would book them as comedians

David Pearn
David Pearn
11 months ago
Reply to  Windy

😂😂😂

Riki
Riki
11 months ago

Ah, Gb news,! The name is an historical irony as the English are not Culturally British, and their nation wasn’t founded by the British people. They monopolise everything British while calling the British “Welsh”. An irony that’s helped by the refusal of most “Welsh” to understand these histories.

Johnny Gamble
Johnny Gamble
11 months ago

Never heard of them until I read this article.

Mole
Mole
11 months ago

They have difficulty with their own language poor dabs, so they have no chance anywhere else. They are probablt only funny in Essex or thereabouts. The ignorance of it beggars belief though doesnt it.

John Young
John Young
11 months ago

One positive thing i’ll say about the bloke on the right is that he’s got the perfect face for a comedian. It’s up to him if he thinks that people laughing at him before he’s even opened his mouth is a good thing.

The reverend Eli Jenkins
The reverend Eli Jenkins
11 months ago

As we all know, an insult from a fool (o two) is actually a compliment.

Cymru am Byth

Alan
Alan
11 months ago

Calm down. No-one has died. Either laugh or ignore.

Our Supporters

All information provided to Nation.Cymru will be handled sensitively and within the boundaries of the Data Protection Act 2018.