Don’t be an ar*ehole – a guide to Life

Gwern Gwynfil

Prejudice and social conflict rear their ugly heads constantly. Some may argue that this is part of the human condition, a tribalism deeply ingrained by evolution.

Factions, gangs, ‘in’ crowds, cliques, clans, clubs, ‘people’, race, teams, squads, crew, pack, the list goes on – and let’s not forget mob, herd and horde…

Countering this is the reality that we are one tribe today, globally connected by near instant communication and with easy and growing access to a vast repositories of information.

We also face a shared existential crisis as our climate changes rapidly, primarily as a result of our own actions. The impacts of these changes are indiscriminate, paying no mind to our structures but doing their own thing. When sea levels rise they do so according to the sea’s own rules, when extreme weather strikes it does so with no deference to the social structures and groupings of humans.

Words have Power

Sadly, many of us still feel the need to ‘other’ individuals based on race, sex, gender, language, skin colour and a whole host of other needless and pointless prejudices. Often stoked by lead actors who almost always seem motivated by little more than self aggrandisement.

Many of us fall for this regularly. The prejudice is all too often dressed up in clever language or pseudo argument that sounds convincing enough – words are powerful things, something of which any experienced, competent lawyer, journalist or politician will be well aware.

For those who doubt our susceptibility to the power of words to influence remember that a Gallup poll at the time found that 74% agreed with Powell’s infamous ‘Rivers of Blood’ speech in 1968.

Like the misinformation and disinformation spread in the wake of the horrific events in Southport, Powell’s words also led directly to an increase in racial violence.

New Platforms, Old Tropes

Users of the platform formerly known as Twitter will have noticed an acceleration in its slow decline of late. The quality of discourse has declined precipitously with free rein given to the promulgation of lies, nastiness and the very deliberate stoking of conflict – more than a forum for the poorly named ‘culture wars’, the platform is a cesspit of trolls and echo chambers, reinforcing erroneous beliefs, amplifying toxic lies and opinions.

As more and more of those who are sickened by this ‘public square’ discourse leave for other platforms (Threads is certainly becoming more vibrant) the concentration of toxicity ramps up relentlessly. Even the porn bots are leaving!

Pushback

How do we, as individuals, as societies, as nations and as a global community, push back against the relentless prejudices we seem determined to spawn? The answer in essence is a simple one – don’t be an arsehole.

I can already hear the tutting of those thinking to themselves that it’s not that simple. If this is you, give it a little more thought. We should make it that simple because in essence it is that simple.

By becoming an anti-arsehole we can all play our part in reducing arseholery in our own lives and the lives of those around us.

In a joyous ripple effect small acts of anti-arseholery can spread, improving lives and bringing joy and contentment.

You can help. From simple things like being considerate to other road users when driving in your car; giving a wider berth for a cyclist; allowing the waiting car to pull out; slowing down in town; being relaxed when another driver makes a mistake, it happens – to the deeper and more meaningful, challenging toxic ideas and lies when you encounter them, online or in real life; telling your friends and family when they’re being arseholes that they don’t need such behaviour to define who they are; facing up to arseholery wherever you come across it, in yourself and in others.

Everyone has One

We can all be arseholes sometimes but no one needs to be one all the time. Not even if they have a name that rhymes with garage, tusk or frump. When we’re tired, hungry, grumpy or drunk we all behave in ways that are less than ideal but so long as we check ourselves, ask if we’re being an arsehole and address it when the answer is ‘yes, yes we are’, then we improve our own lives and those of others. It’s not hard to do, the change is relatively small for each of us – collectively it could change the world.

This is the crux, we are always at our best when we work together to achieve great things, small contributions accumulating to make great changes and surpass huge milestones, from basic infrastructure to space exploration.

We can do this for the more fundamental and underappreciated goal of collective improvement too – better lives for ourselves and all those with whom we share our planet.

As the Summer in Cymru draws to a close, make the effort, be the change and don’t be an arsehole.