Stiff Arms and Limp Rhetoric

Ben Wildsmith

Imagine having the opportunity to rerun events in your life that went badly. Donald Trump’s inauguration yesterday afforded this creature of ungodly good fortune yet another chance to get it right.

You’ll remember the last time he took the oath. His apocalyptic, rambling speech was delivered in front of a crowd at the Mall that was demonstrably smaller than the one that turned out for Barack Obama. On the stage, George W. Bush was heard to mutter, ‘That was some weird shit,’ as Trump wound up his vision of a fallen America.

So, this time was to be different. It was ‘too cold’ to hold the ceremony outdoors, we were told. Instead, Trump and Vice President Muttley took their oaths inside the Capitol, in the same space where insurrectionists were livestreamed hunting down his previous Vice President, Mike Pence.

Threats

The speech was structured and read from an autocue. Amidst threats to invade Panama and place tariffs on foreign goods, there were nods to optimism and unity. Obama and Pence arrived to fulfil their ceremonial duties alone. The absence of their wives told its own story, albeit it overshadowed by the First Lady’s selection of a kiss-repellent hat.

It was Martin Luther King Day and Detroit Pastor, Lorenzo Sewell, delivered an overwrought tribute-act version of King’s oratory. In keeping with the gold-plated, ersatz aesthetic of all things Trumpian, it was a knock-off of something valuable: Björn Again Christianity.

The president always looks like a peevish child at ceremonial occasions like this. It is as if conformity to protocol diminishes him to the status of others.

Accordingly, a second speech had been arranged to follow on immediately. Addressing an audience of sycophants, Trump delivered his speech, explicitly favouring it over the negotiated version we’d just heard. Here was the atonal trip through his subconscious to which he treats attendees at his rallies.

Heavy on personal grievance, he used the opportunity to threaten, defy, and scorn. He characterises the disconnected mind farts that comprise his rhetoric as ‘the weave’ and explains its incomprehensibility as evidence of his genius. We just don’t get it, apparently.

Then it was off to lunch. Senators couldn’t bring their partners, that was reserved for the oligarchs whose visual prominence throughout proceedings signalled the new hierarchy. Jeff Bezos and Mark Zuckerberg hovered behind Trump in nearly every shot, with the latter resembling a competition winner.

Chief chimp

The chief chimp of that cohort, of course, is Elon Musk and when the show moved to the Capitol One Arena, his moment arrived.

This portion of the day was emblematic of the entire Trump enterprise. By packing his supporters into an indoor arena, there could be no embarrassing shots of empty spaces outside.

Those in attendance got to see some live legislating, as Trump signed executive orders on stage, holding his huge, weird signature up for public acclaim. The synthesis of politics and showbiz is complete. It’s Musk who stole the front pages, though. If anybody at work insists what he did was a ‘Roman salute’, I recommend headbutting them with as much force as you can before explaining that as a Glasgow kiss.

Wait, did Musk just do a Nazi salute? pic.twitter.com/VZChlQXSYv

— Republicans against Trump (@RpsAgainstTrump) January 20, 2025

Whilst idiots worldwide argue over the precise mechanics of a Nazi salute, you can be sure that Musk has blown it with the Donald. Those front pages aren’t for you, Elon, not today.

We will shortly find out whether the office of President still holds sway over wealth.

Earlier in the day, Joe Biden had doddered on to the presidential helicopter, splattered in the blood of 46,000 Palestinians. It may well be that enough voters stayed at home over that issue to lose Kamala Harris the election, certainly the Trump administration’s immediate success in forcing a ceasefire gives lie to the claim that America lacked influence to stop the carnage.

Body count

Biden’s supporters, like Tony Blair’s before them, give him a pass for the body count, seemingly convinced that morality can be compartmentalised, with atrocities discounted from the overall assessment.

Amongst the achievements they ascribe to Biden, dealing with inflation is the most quantifiably solid. It’s on this field that the seeds of Trump’s downfall may already have been sown. During his speech, Trump spoke of punitive tariffs as an ‘external revenue service’. He described a world where America would be raking in taxes from foreign countries.

The truth, of course, is that Americans will be paying this tax via higher prices on imported goods and the inflationary pressure that will bring to the economy as a whole.

The ‘golden age’ Trump has promised will be revealed as tin when that reality dawns.

For now, though, with his authority at its high watermark, the world holds its breath regarding what’s to come.

As the January 6^th rioters, or ‘hostages’ as Trump calls them, are released today, we see the priority that the president attaches to personal grievances. It would be a good time, I’d suggest, for his more conspicuous critics to leave the country.

As for the wider programme of nationalist oligarchy favoured by Musk, I suspect that Trump lacks commitment to the cause.

In his mind, America is already great again, after all, look at who is president.