‘I ain’t Welsh!’ Former Wales player lays into ‘joke’ set up

Former Wales international Andy Johnson has revealed what it was like to play for Wales in the late ’90s, early noughties – and it’s not exactly complimentary.

The ex-footballer who played for Norwich City, Nottingham Forest and West Bromwich Albion amongst others, told the Undr The Cosh podcast how he never considered himself Welsh, was never going to learn the anthem and how he viewed playing for Wales as ‘a holiday’ and an excuse to go out drinking with his international teammates.

The 50-year-old who was born in Bristol and qualified to play for Wales through his maternal grandmother who was born in Maesteg, said he never considered himself Welsh but joked that his ‘nan used to walk the dog over there apparently’.

The player, who won 15 caps for Wales between 1998 and 2004, revealed the shambolic state of the Wales set up under manager Bobby Gould, who gave Johnson his first cap.

“Gouldy was a great guy, but f*cking useless,” he said.”He thought he was cunning. This one night we had the whole floor of this hotel. Gouldy sat on a chair at one end of the corridor so he could see if anybody tried to sneak out, but we were all on the ground floor so jumped out the windows and had a great night out.”

Johnson revealed how during his time with Wales drinking and partying was most definitely more important than the football.

“We would travel down on Saturday and then have Saturday night out. We’d have an alldayer on the Sunday, then play golf on the Monday. We didn’t train until Thursday. We were pissed the whole time. It was unbelievable.”

During the chat with Undr The Cosh hosts Chris Brown and Jon Parkin he told the infamous story of how Bobby Gould made the Wales squad train at Usk open prison.

“When I first joined we trained in an open prison in Usk and the inmates were the ball boys. I remember Giggsy (Ryan Giggs) saying to me what the f*ck are we doing here?”

When asked by the podcast hosts if he had learned the Welsh national anthem, he replied: “F*cking hell no, but I knew how to get into the private room at the Fantasy Lounge lap dancing club in Cardiff.

“I wasn’t like Vinnie (Jones) when he came in and tried to learn the anthem. I can barely speak without a Bristolian accent, so I was never going to learn the Welsh anthem.”

Johnson said his brother received death threats because of him playing for Wales.

“He was was embarrassed and got loads of grief. There’s a real hatred between Bristol, Swansea and Cardiff. My bother’s name is David, so I used to call him Dafydd every time I saw him to wind him up.”

While the former midfielder said he had a ‘great time’ playing for Wales, he did bemoan some of the teams they ended up drawing in qualufiers.

“I had a wicked time but we always drew the sh*tholes like Belarus,” he said. “I read a book in Belarus, thats how bad it was. I’ve only read four books in my life and three of them I was made to do in school.”

While he had plenty of good things to say for teammates such as John Hartson, Dean Saunders and Chrs Coleman – ‘real great lads, great characters’ – he revealed he decided to end his international career after Wales lost a heartbreaking two-legged playoff to Russia for a place at Euro 2004 in Portugal.

Although on the podcast he does get his facts mixed up. He says Wales drew 1-1 out in Russia. It was in fact 0-0. And he reckons he was dropped for the second leg, when he actually started the second leg, but was substituted for Rob Earnshaw in the 54th minute of second half.”

We can only surmise that all that beer he drank on international duty must have rotted his braincells.