Book Review: It Might Not Be True by Francesca Rhydderch

Gosia Buzzanca

I had quite a journey with Francesca Rhydderch’s memoir. There were turbulences in my own life which made both the reading and eventual writing of this review almost unbearable at times. 

Here are some facts. About the author: Francesca Rhydderch was born in Aberyswyth, she is an academic and novelist. Her debut novel, The Rice Paper Diaries, won the Wales Book of The Year Fiction Award in 2014. Her short stories have been broadcast on Radio Wales and BBC Radio 4. 

Neurological problems

About the book, per the publisher’s website: ‘Francesca Rhydderch is certain that she’s chronically ill, but her doctors disagree. Twelve months later she can’t even walk down the street, and her latest consultant is still suggesting that her neurological problems will just go away on their own. Then she comes across a specialist who changes the course of her illness. She may well be in danger of fighting a losing battle – with time, memory, herself – but she learns there are ways to live in the present by making peace with the past.’

Here are the experiences. A couple of weeks after receiving the copy of this book I ended up spending long days and nights in a hospital, translating and advocating for my Polish-based mother, who fell ill after traveling to Wales. 

I sat with this small, exquisitely printed book in hospital corridors, just-about-foldable faux leather chairs, on long train journeys to and fro. I read in dribs and drabs, sentences here, sentences there. 

Looking for answers

Observing my mother, I observed Francesca as painted by her own pen, realising something is wrong, looking for answers. I held my breath at certain passages – truth is something that can be worked out along the way became underlined so heavily with my biro it almost broke a page. What a sentiment. 

Detailed tenderness

As Francesca tries to work out the cause for her mysterious illness, she looks back at her life, the love and loss of her parents, her childhood, her academic career. She talks about her children with such detailed tenderness I still remember it weeks after reading. 

As my mother was getting ready to leave the hospital and return home, Francesca finally got her diagnosis – Parkinson’s disease. 

After returning from Poland, where I went with my mother to ease the transition, my heart began to open again, and I fell in love with a person who happens to be chronically ill. 

I returned to Rhydderch but at this point re-reading the pages became unbearable. The combination of seeing my mother unwell only a few weeks prior, and going through the process of understanding the condition of my lover made my head spin. I felt such tenderness to the author and to the world at large. 

Impeccable craft

Here’s the thing: It Might Not Be True is a gift. It is almost impossible to write about it in regular book review form. The craft is impeccable, perfect, the way the story weaves and turns is masterful. This is a perfectly measured memoir. Here’s Rhydderch, remembering a garage from her childhood: ‘I imagine running my fingers over the wood, feeling for the holes that have pierced the painted panels, committing the past to posterity despite everything. It’s amazing how, from the memories that have been coming to me in unstoppable waves since I first became ill, the sharpest details still remain: the smell of Toots’ make-up, the scent of her clothes, even the feel of the books she read, the way in which she folded down pages at their corners instead of using a bookmark.’

Story-telling resolve

Reading It Might Not Be True, it’s impossible not to think about the importance of the author’s commitment and resolve to tell the story. Of the effect it can have on society, as it tries to understand chronic illness, but also on the daily lives of its readers: it shows compassion, attention to detail, invites to slow down and really experience the moment. It’s so much more than just a book. 

Emotional truth

I was privileged to see Francesca at the Hay Festival a fortnight ago and was moved to tears by her emotional reading, and her discussion with her sister, the poet Samantha Wynne-Rhydderch. Rhydderch apologised for the emotion, and I wanted to say no, please. The emotional truth is exactly what this world needs now. Your book is exactly what the world needs. 

The gift of this memoir stays with me in small ways. When my daughter asks me to sew a paper tail to the back of her skirt, I do it carefully. When an idea comes, I try to catch it. When the music plays, I dance. 

It Might Not be True by Francesca Rhydderch is published by Parthian and is available from all good bookshops.