Review: The grand return of Self Esteem

Gosia Buzzanca

The first time I ever saw Self Esteem was in Cardiff, in the weird mid-pandemic November of 2021, upstairs at Clwb Ifor Bach. Her second album, Prioritise Pleasure had just recently come out and everyone wanted to hear it live.

The show was sold out, and for the first time in my life I got scammed trying to get tickets. The crowd pushed onto each other so that my foot had to rest on the stage for balance, a protection against falling face flat on the drummer.

The second time I saw Self Esteem in Cardiff was in a similarly packed, but bigger already Tramshed. I have a screen recording somewhere in the depths of my phone of an Instagram story, where Rebecca Lucy Taylor and her band mate, Wales own Marged Siôn, practice counting in Welsh while walking streets of Grangetown.

And, last night, at last, a triumphant return of Self Esteem to the biggest yet stage at Cardiff Castle.

But before her headlining show, the evening began early, with a perfectly energetic set by Joshua Idehen, barefoot and waving a red fan in each hand, setting the gathering crowd into motion.

Second support was Kae Tempest, visibly moved by the ever growing audience bathed in the perfect golden light of an early evening and the surrounding nature. His lyricism was as always flawlessly measured and heartfelt, and let many tears flow down people’s faces.

Just as the sun was setting down behind the magnificent walls of Cardiff Castle, Self Esteem, now with the biggest band yet, came onto stage to a roar of the fans that only got louder each time Rebecca Lucy Taylor spoke Welsh that she admitted to trying and learning before the show.

Importantly, the headliner was the only artist of the night that took care of truly acknowledging the country the show was held in. Taylor said, “I have a thing for Welsh.”

And the Welsh sure have a thing for her.

Part of the summer tour promoting her third album, A Complicated Woman, the show follows up a tour held in venues across the UK last year that began as a limited run show held in, soon to be renamed, Duke of York Theatre in London’s West End.

As the location of its debut suggests, the show is more than just a concert, it is an experience full of drama, costume changes, choreography and light, with intricate staging and many surprises throughout.

What carries A Complicated Woman is the music, of course. The powerful, honest lyricism of Rebecca Lucy Taylor, her impeccable vocals and stage presence, as well as the backing voices and energy of the band.

Having seen the show previously, both in theatre and indoor music venues, I was excited to find out how it would carry to an outdoor stage, to a festival atmosphere, to an audience bigger than ever.

Somehow the show ended up being even more outstanding, with the energetic moments more impactive and the quiet, intimate parts of the set played out in the complete silence and held breaths, with only occasional sobs that may or may not have come from yours truly.

That’s the thing with Self Esteem. You can go your entire life without her music, but once you experience her art for the first time, you will never be the same. Her music and her live shows are purifying, thrilling, life affirming, at times breathtaking in their honesty. Taylor is not afraid to be fully herself on the stage, of being vulnerable, silly, powerful — sometimes in the space of a few minutes.

What Self Esteem does, if you allow yourself to be open enough to receive it, is reflect back at you the good and the bad parts of being human. And in the crowd of thousands, singing the lyrics out loud, you get to feel free and fully yourself.

It’s not a surprise that the concert was attended by people from all over the world and of all ages. The most special part of Self Esteem fandom are young fans, like the 9 year old Lyra from Bristol, who gets to grow up with music that she will only understand more as she grows older.

I can’t even imagine the difference it would make in my life, because Self Esteem was a huge part in changing it even now, in my thirties.

Another thing that still shocks me is that Self Esteem isn’t even bigger than she already is. I guess that’s partly the fault of the systems we live in, under which true vulnerability and self-power isn’t appreciated by masses who aren’t ready to embrace it.

The Cardiff concert was special for another reason, as it is the aforementioned Marged Siôn’s hometown. It was beautiful to see her celebrated by Rebecca, the band and audience.

In her post show Instagram post, Siôn wrote: “From being told I was too much, too emotional, too sensitive, too loud, too energetic, too myself for a lot of my time growing up in this city, to then being celebrated for those exact qualities made me so emotional and healed something so deep for me last night.

“What a blessing to be in my wholeness and to get to share with all of the angels on and off stage who I love so unconditionally. Cymru am byth!”

Here lies the secret: Self Esteem is the most important musician working today. Rebecca Lucy Taylor’s talent knows no boundaries and allows everyone involved with it to regain their wholeness. As a true artist should.

As everyone gathered in Cardiff Castle on Friday night can attest.

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