Watch: New S4C documentary tells the story of an artist who finds her freedom after suffering violence and sexual abuse

A new S4C documentary tells the powerful story of Cardiff born and raised singer and artist Marged and how music has helped her recover from sexual abuse and addiction to drugs and alcohol

Currently travelling the world with Self Esteem as a backing vocalist-dancer and supporting act, the film Hunan Hyder follows her on the group’s tour of Britain and America as she reveals how performing liberates and enables her to process trauma.

“I love singing and being on stage,” said Marged, the daughter of popular Welsh language folk artist Delwyn Siôn.

 “It was at chapel that I first learned how to perform, how to deal with nerves; getting in front of people to sing.”

“At home it was always important to live by the motto that we fight for equality, and to always act from a place of love.

“I’ve learned that in times of darkness, you must create light for yourself,” she adds.

Sexual assault

Marged’s life changed significantly in her early twenties after she survived a sexual assault:

“There’s something about being a survivor of male violence – where choice leaves your life entirely. I spent a year feeling heavily depressed, drinking . . . taking drugs, and I feel like I attracted the energy field that I held at the time.

“I ended up in an abusive relationship that lasted nearly five years, during which time I developed an addiction to alcohol and drugs.”

Marged who’s currently working on her own solo project, offers a raw insight into the experiences of women as a result of male violence.

“It doesn’t matter what you wear, what’s out there is still going to be out there, and that’s their responsibility, not mine.”

Turning point

Becoming a member of Self Esteem was a turning point for Marged: “Being on stage means I can re-claim my body every evening.

“I can move my body and no one can touch me while I’m doing it.

“I feel totally safe on the stage and for the first time in my life it gives me a place to be angry.

“We choose how we move and what energy we give out.”

The film, which is directed and produced by two of Marged’s friends – singer and poet Casi Wyn and photographer and director Carys Huws.

This is Carys and Casi’s first experience of working together to create a film with Marged’s remarkable journey and courage being the source of their inspiration.

The story is told in Welsh – a natural progression for the team as Welsh is Casi, Carys and Marged’s first language.

Reality

Casi said: “Self Esteem is no ordinary pop group; unlike most mainstream artists they don’t attempt to gloss over the sometimes harsher aspects of reality.

“The film paints only a fragment of Marged’s journey so far as she discovers and shapes her place in the world.

“Marged is proof that the power of light, hope and radical acceptance can help us heal from the deep wounds of trauma.

“Dance and song as a form of expression is a way of working with our darker experiences in life – rather than resisting and concealing from them, Marged confronts her hurt.

“I for one am very grateful for her courage – in sharing a story that will undoubtedly allow countless others to heal and perhaps learn to trust life again.”

Inspiration

Carys said: “Marged has always been an inspiration to me in how she speaks so radically openly about themes that are often framed as taboo within our society.

“I have tremendous respect for her for being open to sharing her personal trauma to help other survivors, and to represent the reality women are experiencing today as a result of male violence and toxic masculinity.”

Hunan Hyder is available to watch on S4C Clic,  iPlayer and Youtube and will be broadcast on S4C on Wednesday 29 June at 10.00 PM with English and Welsh subtitles.