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Bad manners red flag for women but more men value good looks, poll suggests

10 Oct 2025 2 minute read
Photo by StockSnap from Pixabay

Bad manners are more off-putting for women than men when it comes to a partner’s qualities while males value good looks more highly than females, according to a survey.

Honesty, kindness and friendship were the top so-called green flags for both men and women in things they look for in a partner.

But more men cited intelligence and good looks as important qualities for their partner to have, the survey of just over 2,000 young adults in the UK found.

Put-downs

More women than men said put-downs from a partner – whether in public or private – and being flirty were red flags.

While almost six in 10 women (57%) said a partner having bad manners was a red flag, this was closer to four in 10 men (43%).

Good looks in a partner were rated very important by 35% of men compared with just 23% of women.

While 40% of men said intelligence in a partner was a green flag, this was 37% for women.

Harry Benson, from Marriage Foundation which commissioned the polling, said: “Some of these findings might seem unsurprising, like the desire for a partner to be kind and honest but others, such as the need for a partner to have good manners, identified by over two-thirds of women and more than half of men, were something of a shock.

“Indeed, some surveys have suggested that traditional manners were seen as old-fashioned, even outdated, but as our data clearly shows, if you want to attract a partner, you had better be kind and watch your Ps and Qs.”

– Whitestone Insight surveyed 2,008 UK heterosexual adults aged under 35 in May this year.


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