‘Fathers who take no responsibility for children born after one night stands should be tracked down by DNA and made to pay up’
Martin Shipton
Sara Whithorn was born in Wales 50 years ago, nine months after her parents had a one night stand.
After many years wondering about her origins, she has finally identified her biological father and earlier this year obtained a High Court declaration confirming his identity.
But her quest has raised major concerns about men who evade all aspects of paternal responsibility for children they have fathered.
Ms Whithorn has shared her moving story with Nation.Cymru.
She told us: “I was born in 1975 and raised solely by my mother on social security in Pendre, Bridgend, with ‘father unknown’ recorded on my birth certificate. I am the result of a one night stand in Porthcawl in 1974.
“For almost five decades, I was denied not only emotional connection but also financial support, identity, and truth.
“In 2022, after finding a DNA match on Ancestry.com, I began a two-year legal process, entirely self-funded, which has now legally confirmed Michael Standen, a multimillionaire property developer from South Cornelly, near Bridgend, as my father. He has refused all contact, DNA testing, or acknowledgement – despite the court’s ruling and overwhelming biological evidence.
“This isn’t a story of revenge. It’s about accountability, healing, and legacy. Every time a child grows up with ‘father unknown’ on their birth certificate, the British taxpayer foots the bill. In my case, social security supported my mother and I throughout my entire childhood, while my biological father raised other children – some not biologically his – in comfort and abundance.
“I believe it’s time we asked:
Should DNA testing be mandated when one parent is unlisted?
What is the true cost of ‘father unknown’ on the welfare system?
And what rights does a child have to be acknowledged—not just biologically, but morally?”
Birth certificate
Explaining why she was telling her story now, she said: “I’ve just received my new, updated birth certificate with Mr Michael John Standen’s name.
“After years of searching, heartbreak, legal proceedings, and silence, I feel it’s time for this story to be told—not to shame, but to shed light on what it means to be denied the truth of your own origins in a modern society.
“I am so passionate about every human having the right to know who they come from.
“My Mum was 20 at the time of the one night stand. She kept her pregnancy secret from everyone. No one knew she was pregnant until she was in active labour with me. Hence when I was born I didn’t have so much as my own nappy.
“When she took me home to my grandparents’ house I had everything any child could want. I was surrounded with love. Life was great when we lived in Pendre.
“I always wondered who my father was. Mum married when I was three. It didn’t last more than 18 months. Mum said he couldn’t accept me. I have minimal memory of this time.
“When I was 10 we moved to another house in Pendre when she married a man who abused me from age 10 to 15.
“I left Bridgend at 18. I have and always will come home.
“During my 20s, I became focused on finding my father – for my daughters’ sake as much as my own. I put my mother through hell pressing her for information.
“My mother never spoke openly about my father. When I did summon the courage to ask, it was always in emotionally charged moments — usually when I was under the influence myself, desperate for answers. Her responses were inconsistent, vague, and sometimes painful. She told me his name was Gareth Hooper — a lie, as it turned out. I believe now it was a name my biological father gave her to disappear from accountability. She never knew him — it was a one-night stand.
South east Asia
As he worked in south east Asia until 1990 she never bumped into him, or saw him again. I have a voice memo of my meeting with him where he tells me in the 1970s he was earning £100k per year, tax free.
“When Mum & I moved from Pendre, where we lived with my grandparents; Joan & Arthur Spurgeon, to 68 Pendre, we had nothing. I was the kid with a dinner ticket. Mum couldn’t afford for me to go on any more school trips. We had nothing. I started working when I was 12, and would save up my earnings to buy my brothers Ryan and Scott branded clothes, because I didn’t want them to feel as I had. Mum did the very best with what she had, and I was always her protector. My brothers too. I am 11 years older than Ryan, and 13 older than Scott.
“He also told me 1974 was the year he’d had enough of working overseas and claims to have driven home to Wales from Singapore.
“In my 20’s I wrote a letter to every single Gareth Hooper in the telephone book. When I drew a blank I then contacted South Wales Police to trace him, just like my grandmother did in 1975.
“There was never a Gareth Hooper, trainee police officer in 1974. It was a blatant lie. I was devastated.
“When Mum passed away last year I found my baptism certificate, where she has recorded my fathers name as “Gareth”. This is the name Michael Standen gave her on their one night stand, in Porthcawl. She was telling me the truth. It was him that lied.
“In 2009, I emigrated to Australia. I built a life here — working in corporate management, beauty education, and now as a business development manager in the medical aesthetics industry. I’m married, have children of my own, and I always told myself I didn’t need to know where I came from. But the truth is, the ache never left. The older I got, the louder it became.
“The big push for me to leave the UK was after I eventually reported the sexual abuse from my my mothers previous husband, and the CPS decided not to pursue it.
“I was done. Lost all faith in the British justice system . This man is a convicted rapist with a long history of violence. He 1st sexually assaulted me when I was 10 years old. This continued until I was 15. At 18 I left Bridgend and moved to the north east of England after meeting my husband of 33 years in Spain when I was 27 and he was 20.
“I have spent many hours and money in therapy throughout my adulthood. Every birthday wish has been to find my father.
“In 2023, I took a DNA test through Ancestry.com. I matched with my first cousin, paternal side — Ian Gannicott. He was open, supportive, and brave enough to help piece the puzzle together. Through Ian’s help, I discovered my biological father is Michael John Standen — a multi-millionaire businessman who brought up several other non-biological children and grandchildren as his own.
“Michael’s son Jonathan Standen kindly provided his DNA which records him as my half brother. Philip Standen, Michaels half brother also provided his DNA, which is recorded as my half uncle.
“I reached out with kindness, vulnerability, and openness. I even sent Michael a Father’s Day gift — a book titled Everything About My Dad — in the hopes he might one day fill in the pages. But he has refused to acknowledge me.
“In March 2025, after initiating legal action, the High Court in London officially declared Michael Standen as my biological father. The declaration of parentage now legally entitles me to have my birth certificate amended — a monumental moment of truth after 50 years.
“But legal truth doesn’t equate to emotional closure. He still denies me. And while I now hold a document proving who I am — the human connection I longed for remains missing.
“In actual fact having found him alive, well, and thriving, it cuts deeper knowing he won’t acknowledge me, yet supports his wife’s daughters from her previous marriage, and her nephew who they adopted when his mother died. Michael and Diane Standen didn’t meet until the late 1980s
“I am now calling for change. Children born with “Father Unknown” on their birth certificate are statistically more likely to grow up in poverty, rely on state assistance, and experience identity-related trauma. The taxpayer foots the bill — while many fathers, like mine, walk away without consequence.
I believe we need:
Mandatory DNA collection when a birth is registered without both parents listed.
Financial reparations where paternity is later proven and historic child support was never paid.
Education and reform in social services to support adult children seeking truth through DNA.
“My mother passed away in my arms in 2024 after a long battle with illness. I had travelled back to Bridgend and spent her final months by her side. It was one of the most important promises I ever kept.
“I returned to Australia heartbroken — and within weeks, lost my job and then my 15-year-old dog, who also died in my arms. This journey has been filled with grief, but also resilience.
“My Nan, Cllr Joan Hilda Scott Spurgeon, was an amazing woman. A Bridgend town and county councillor.
“My brother Scott Baldwin, a former Wales rugby international, still lives in the UK and helped collect my father’s DNA after my declaration of parentage had been issued. He knew how important this has been to me, and wanted me to finally have the full stop I have always needed, not another question mark. .Sadly, Michael did everything he wasn’t supposed to and no DNA could be extracted
“I now live in Northern Rivers, New South Wales, Australia.
“This isn’t about money for me. It never was. I just wanted to be acknowledged — to not feel erased. But now, I realise my story can serve a purpose far bigger than me. If one child gets a faster answer, if one mother is spared a lifetime of secrecy, if one policy changes — it will have been worth it.
“Finally myself, daughters, and grandchildren know their lineage.”
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As a mum in the same situation I think this is very unfair to expect a one night stand to take responsibility and then also name him publicly, and then also expect them to be financially responsible for a child they chose not to want. Two people were involved in the situation, and only one person chose to have the baby- the mother. My child’s father took a DNA test, but decided against being in my child’s life, I chose to have my child, he didn’t want too, so he shouldn’t be forced to be involved in something he had… Read more »
I think the whole point of this just went over your head. You said yourself your daughter knows who her Father is. You know who her Father is. Sara’s mother was deceived, he lied about his identity. Sara was denied knowledge… the only thing she was asking for. The only thing you’re correct about is that there were two people involved in the situation… one of them didn’t do the right thing.
I haven’t missed any point. The mother kept the pregnancy a secret from everyone, the mother chose to go ahead and have a baby fully knowing she had no idea where the father was… she chose in that moment to become a single parent. To then expect someone all those years later to take emotional and financial responsibility for a child they knew nothing about is selfish. And to then blame the father and make him out to be a bad person is even more selfish. He literally had no choice in the matter. So to chose all these years… Read more »
Absolutely you are right. This mum probably was desperate for a child.
Hi Nic, same situation as you and we have never claimed a penny and never would.
To not too
You are wrong. If he didn’t know is something we could try understand, but he knew, he should pay up even if is minimum towards the child, you probably lived off benefit to survive that’s why you have this opinion.
You’re right – two people were involved in that situation and men today know that unprotected sex can result in pregnancy, do they not?
Of course, he cannot be forced to take an active part in his child’s life but why on earth shouldn’t he at least be held partially financially responsible?
If more men were held responsible then it might at least make more of them think twice before deciding to engage in casual sex.
He had unprotected sex – that was his choice. Nobody forced him to do it. When a pregnancy results from it then that child is his responsibility. If he doesn’t want the responsibility of a child? Well then he shouldn’t have had unprotected sex – yes….the same argument that men used against women when refusing them safe, legal abortions for decades.
Interesting and courageous story. Despicable how some men can continue to act in an arrogant care and responsibility-free bubble. Those men are fighting to take us back to the 1970’s even now. Although I wonder how much of the fight, denial and negativity comes from the new women in their lives.
I don’t think the father’s name should have been published. He has a right to anonymity to what is a very private matter.
I think there’s a bit of a disconnect here, possibly grief. There is zero guarantee that the father in this circumstance would have contributed at all, all the laws in the land would not have stopped him, all he had to do was move countries and then he is outside of the UK’s jurisdiction… or which ever country the claim is launched from. You can’t make someone recognize you, you can get his name on a birth certificate, you can publish it in the papers, but that emotional bond? Nada. If you think that your mom would have been entitled… Read more »
This is quite clearly a highly charged subject.
On the other hand to this story, why should an absent father pay for a child the mother won’t let him see? Unfortunately after relationships break down, things like this occur.
I think that all DNA resources should be made available to track down deadbeat dad’s. What’s more, I think that they should be made to pay financial support until their offspring is at least 35 years old. All the families I know help their adult kids out with stuff like child-care when the grandchildren are small to allow their adult children to get a foothold in their careers. Absentee parents can provide the same contribution financially.
So are you advocating the mandatory dna testing of every male on say reaching the age of 13 and stored on a goverment database ?
Suprised that hasn’t been forwarded in the guardian yet as a solution to low rape conviction rates.
I think paternity testing ought to be routine for every birth
The argument about having the man pay for the child and the child knowing the father is equally valid for cheating women. So why doesn’t the author propose mandatory DNA tests for every child considering the policy will catch out and blow up the relationships of cheating men? This way all correct parentage can be established for all children.
Don’t have unprotected sex 🤷🏻♀️