‘I’m glad I’m still here’: My journey towards an ADHD diagnosis

Ben Isaac-Evans

Much has been said by politicians lately about the rise in cases of people wanting an ADHD diagnosis.

The UK government’s health secretary, Wes Streeting, has ordered an independent review of ADHD and autism diagnosis in England after previously questioning if the conditions were over-diagnosed, while Reform’s Richard Tice stated that using ear-defenders in the classroom was “insane” and “has got to stop”. 

For me, both statements show a lack of understanding of these issues and a lack of empathy. It also shows how mental health services have been underfunded for decades. 

Nation Cymru reported in October that one unfortunate adult was still on the waiting list after eight and a half years. If Mr. Tice is wondering why there is a rise in people seeking a diagnosis, I would point out to him that this is probably why.

With such long waiting lists and experiences like mine, where some people (at least in the past) have been turned away from GPs when asking about a referral, there is little wonder that people are self-diagnosing and discussing the symptoms amongst themselves to gain understanding and support.

The NHS in Wales is constantly being discussed in the news and in political circles as having high waiting lists, so it’s worth looking at the figures for ADHD. 

As of August 2024, the average wait for an adult ADHD assessment on the Hywel Dda Health board waiting list was 81 weeks with the longest being 319 weeks (just over 6 years). 

Cwm Taf University Health board reports that current waiting times for initial assessments are around two years (approx. 104 weeks) from referral. 

The Powys Teaching Health board has an average waiting list of 12 months according to 2024 data. 

In February of 2025, the Welsh Government invested £13.7 million to transform services and cut ADHD and autism waiting times. 

They say that the new funding will extend the work of the National Neurodivergence Improvement Programme to transform services and support the National Neurodivergence Team until March 2027, building on the £12 million invested over the past 3 years and £3 million to reduce the longest waiting times for children’s assessments. 

I am glad to see this investment and hope to see more of it and not ridiculous comments such as people being over diagnosed or that it’s causing a financial crisis for councils.

Crisis

Another area of concern for me are the figures showing the number of men taking their own lives in Cymru.  

Office for National Statistics data from 2024 shows that there was a record high for male suicide in Wales with 25 deaths per 100,000, the highest since records began in 1981. There were 337 male suicides registered, accounting for 77% of all suicides in Wales, with men aged 45-49 at the highest risk. 

With better mental health support, I often wonder whether these figures could be lower.

Personal

I’ve recently been placed on the waiting list for an official ADHD diagnosis. It will take between 9-12 months, I’m told.

That, added on to the God knows how many years that were missed that I could have had a diagnosis and support, because a male GP told me when I asked about a diagnosis for bipolar that “we’re all on the spectrum somewhere” and proceeded not to offer any referral.

I guess I should feel pleased this morning that I am now on the waiting list considering I nearly lost the letter and left it to the very last minute of the two-week deadline to reply, such is the curse of ADHD.

I was annoyed to begin with that I had been sent a letter in the first place to confirm a referral when I’d already asked the doctor for one. Why couldn’t the GP put me straight on the list, my mind uttered. 

My wife reassured me that it’s because people often don’t turn up for these appointments. I couldn’t help feeling that it’s still a ridiculous system and a further delay.

Suicidal 

At the age of 19 I took an overdose after a relationship breakdown. It also led to a nervous breakdown. Luckily there was no lasting impact from the medication I took and, with the help of some incredible friends and family, I got through it.

But what I realise now in my mid-40s is that it was likely a reaction to what many with ADHD suffer from; RSD (Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria). 

Symptoms of RSD include intense emotional pain where an overwhelming feeling of being rejected or criticized is hard to manage. 

It can also cause behavioural shifts such as extreme perfectionism, people-pleasing, or total avoidance of new situations to avoid potential failure or rejection.  

Added to that, at least for some, are intense and rapid mood swings, including outbursts of rage or severe depression and anxiety. 

Physical manifestations of RSD can include headaches or stomach pains. 

For me, I often feel huge empathy and compassion towards people and animals that are suffering. I put this down to emotional dysregulation which is also a symptom.

At the age of eight I sat crying in front of the TV screen while watching the news of the individual now dubbed ‘Tank man’ in Tiananmen Square, China. It is an image that has stayed with me and that has led me to photography as a career. 

In my youth, I very rarely felt like I would fit in anywhere. I would often feel lost. That I didn’t belong, and in my late teens that suicide was the only way out. 

During the Covid pandemic, I found myself to be suicidal again. Even though I had years of these feelings on and off. This time, however, it was more intense.

A young lady had thrown herself from a bridge near Hendy because she could not go to her grandmother’s funeral, and I felt I needed to do the same. Luckily for me, my now wife messaged me out of the blue looking for me after 23 years apart. We were in college together but were both too shy to admit to our feelings.

She saved me (she now works in education and spotted the traits) and I joke often how she needed the 23-year break.

It’s an emotional thing to discuss, even now, with some understanding, that it’s more than likely that I have ADHD, and possibly even autism too with a new (for me anyway) term explaining it as AuDHD. 

Autism will need a further assessment.

According to the National Institute of Health, 70-80% of adults with ADHD have at least one other co-occurring mental health condition, with many having two or more. Common comorbidities include anxiety disorders (25–50%), depression (18.6%–53.3%), bipolar disorder, substance use disorders, and personality disorders.  

It has however been a huge weight off my shoulders understanding that the depression that I’ve suffered for over 20 years probably isn’t solely depression, but probably burnout, and that my brain isn’t wired in the typical way. 

I am glad I am still here. 

Bigger problem for Women 

It seems that ADHD and autism for that matter is a bigger issue for women. They have the added hormonal issues of menstrual cycles, pregnancy, perimenopause and menopause to deal with for a start. 

In an article from the Lancet in April 2024 Joanna Martin, PHD, concludes that “ADHD is frequently missed or diagnosed late in females. Although it is not clear whether ADHD truly shows a marked degree of male bias, it is becoming clear that there are multifaceted reasons for ADHD underdiagnoses in females.

“These broadly include established diagnostic practices and sociocultural reasons, with less evidence from biological factors.” 

Upon asking an old friend from college recently about potentially lending a camera lens, she raised the symptoms of her own ADHD.

In a voice-note, Carys Griffiths said: “Imposter syndrome, perfectionism, task paralysis, life paralysis, procrastination coming out of my head 24/7, the fact that I can’t get anything done which includes cleaning, organising, sorting through anything. Self-hatred. Lack of self-worth. It’s all there.” 

Listening to her reel off a list of symptoms made me realise how debilitating ADHD can be at times. 

Carys also suffers from Crohn’s disease and has had a difficult time in and out of hospital recovering from surgeries with that.

It’s quite incredible for me then to see that she has set up her own business called Fall bay Swim, selling swimwear made using recycled fabric from reclaimed fishing nets and discarded plastics. She is also a yoga instructor, photographer and occasionally works on costume for the TV and film industry.

She has not sought an official diagnosis from a GP, worrying that she will not be taken seriously and that with the onset of perimenopause she believes that will be what they will focus on.

With waiting lists as I stated earlier, I can’t blame her.

For me, it is a validation thing. I do feel like I need to know for definite what it is so I can find ways of dealing with it. Everyone has a different journey.

There are of course plus sides to ADHD such as hyper-focus. For me, that’s usually something I’m really interested in such as politics or the environment.

The problem with ADHD, at least for me, is the actual start of a task which means the hyper-focus doesn’t come immediately. It’s important to note however that it’s not all negative.

Future

Whichever party is voted in to government in May will have a big task ahead of them to reduce the waiting times for people seeking an ADHD diagnosis.

I will no doubt update you all further down the line once I’ve had my assessment and results – but for anyone currently struggling with their mental health, or thinking a diagnosis might help you get the extra support you need, I encourage you not to give up.

There is Hope.

https://www.samaritans.org/ – Call 116 123, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/get-help