Wales can have St David’s Day bank holiday ‘if combined with Margaret Thatcher Day’ says UK Government

Wales can have a St David’s Day bank holiday – but only if they are willing to combine it with the new Margaret Thatcher day, the UK Government has said.

Yesterday a UK Government minister said that they wanted to create a new Margaret Thatcher Day to celebrate the UK’s first female Prime Minister.

Asked by Nation.Cymru why they were considering creating a new public holiday while denying Wales a St David’s Day bank holiday, they replied that as a compromise both could be combined.

“This could be an excellent way of killing two birds with one stone,” George Wally MP, the Minister for Levelling, told us. “The Welsh want a St David’s Day and we want a Margaret Thatcher day, so why not combine them together? Where there is discord, may we bring harmony.

“After all, it is well attested that no one did more than Margaret Thatcher to encourage Wales to become the nation it is today, keen to stand on its own two feet and make political decisions for itself.

“And were they really that different? St David said ‘be joyful’, Margaret Thatcher said ‘rejoice’, St David said ‘keep the faith’, Margaret Thatcher said ‘this lady is not for turning’.

“St David told us all to ‘do the little things’, Thatcher wanted us all to take individual responsibility unprotected by the state as part of a new neoliberal world order. They had essentially the same political world view.”

However, George Wally MP said that it might not do to have the newly combined St Margaret’s Day on March 1 as the weather would not allow open-air events such as pageants, quoits and Thatcher’s favourite drinking game – Ibble Dibble.

“We’ve identified today, April 1, as the perfect day,” he said. “She was the Iron Lady, after all, and no one ever made a fool out of her!”