Are England the goodies?

Kai Marshall

In a scene familiar to many millennials or gen-z’ers, David Mitchell and Robert Webb stand in a Nazi bunker and plot to defend against an incoming Russian invasion.

In the midst of war, David Mitchell stops and asks his comrade, Hans, “are we the baddies?” after noticing that their caps depict a skull. I was reminded of this sketch/meme after pondering on England’s upcoming semi-final against geopolitical rivals Argentina.

When Messi inevitably storms the English trenches and Lisandro Martinez rains his surprisingly good medium-range artillery-style rockets over the head of Big Dan Burn, I have started to think that Anglophiles will genuinely be able to ask themselves “hold on.. Are we the goodies?”

Now, I have had a lot of fun over the course of this tournament adopting Congolese, Mexican, Panamanian, Croatian, Ghanaian and Norwegian heritage.

When I found out it was going to be the Argentinians, rather than the Swiss, standing in England’s way I was excited. It’s Messi’s first competitive game against England and possibly, England’s first competitive game of the tournament.

I have enjoyed watching England rue the decision to drop Palmer and Foden while Zlatan Ibrahimovic has said in his stateside TV coverage that Madueke makes all the wrong choices on the field. With that in mind, I have been licking my lips at the prospect of an England defeat.

On paper, then, this matchup is tasty for several specifically football reasons. However, the unspoken rule that politics must overshadow every aspect of our lives was enforced by Argentina’s foreign minister who, you guessed it, has made a Michael Sheen-esque motivational speech (in the form of a letter in a newspaper) supporting his country’s claim to Las Malvinas, the Falklands, stating: “Our claim will not be relinquished, resigned, or abandoned. The Falkland Islands are history, territory, sea, memory, and destiny. They are a promise between generations. They are the voice of a nation that knows how to wait without giving up and knows how to demand without surrendering.”

The UK government directly responded to the claim that Falkland Islanders are “artificially implanted by the occupying power”. In a 2013 vote, the islanders overwhelmingly backed keeping their status as a British overseas territory. Still, the minister argued that no poll organised “unilaterally” by the UK can have “legal effect”. Asked about the remarks, the Prime Minister’s official spokesman said: “The Falkland Islanders are British with a right to determine their own future. The UK’s position is clear. The islanders have repeatedly expressed their wish to remain a British overseas territory, and their right to self-determination is paramount.”

With the Falklands debate raging on and England playing Argentina in a World Cup knockout match you’d be forgiven for thinking you’d accidentally wandered into a time machine that has taken you back to the 1980s.

It should be said that Argentina’s players and staff have hardly been banging the war drums themselves. Scaloni has attempted to strip the fixture of its political baggage, while Argentine veterans have urged fans to focus on football. The problem is that, by this point, the political circus has become rather difficult to ignore.

As mentioned in a previous article, I am disappointed beyond belief that Wales have not made it to this year’s world cup. The current Rugby Union Nations Championship doesn’t really hit the spot in the way a Welsh World Cup run would.

Argentina, perhaps, due to our own slightly less controversial colony over there, might be the closest we can get to Welsh participation. It’s another reason, not that many need one, to be rooting against England once again. There’s even a space in Cardiff’s Clwb Ifor Bach for Argentinians to watch the match.

Tarnished

For me, the inclusion of geopolitics into this World Cup has tarnished my Argentine support. The President of the United States has used the FIFA President’s grubby tendencies to his advantage and gained the USA an (ultimately futile but no less underhanded) advantage by overturning a red card, a concession not provided to England’s Jarrel Quansah.

It has also been suggested that match officials are giving preferential treatment to Argentina, with Switzerland’s Manuel Akanji saying this after their quarter-final match: “Every little thing was called against us. Every dive and every foul by the Argentinians went unpunished. I don’t usually say anything against the officials, but I’ve never experienced such a one-sided game as today” alongside Lautaro Martinez escaping a caution for jumping the barrier in celebration of a goal.

That’s not to say that referees are deliberately handing Argentina an advantage but, in the current climate surrounding this World Cup, it is very unfortunate that refereeing controversies, which have always been a part of the game, have the world looking at referees with scepticism.

On the other hand, England have genuinely had to work for their results so far, especially in their knockout games. Jude Bellingham has been a genuine joy to watch, his hard work at both ends of the pitch being emblematic of a realer and fairer approach to the game.

Tuchel’s pitch side passion and fury which leaked into the post-match interview is a refreshing injection of personality in a world of media trained sports people and is a direct contrast to Don Carlos’ calm and collected approach to his sinking Brazilian ship.

Hand of God

There is also the obvious redemption arc 40 years after the Hand Of God incident. Finally, a chance to exorcize that most famous of ghosts.

For me, politics has dragged the beautiful game through the mud somewhat. Whilst the action on the pitch has, across the board, been pretty exceptional, the last thing football fans needed was another reason to get furious.

There is enough to be annoyed or angry at in the world and, while there is a place for politics in sport, there is a huge extent to which constantly having to acknowledge extra-sporting events is exhausting.

So, if I watch the match and find myself with my fingers crossed for a Pickford spillage maybe I need to look at the skull on my cap and ask…. are we the baddies?