Families in the UK deserve better: why the first ever parent strike is happening across the country.

Elen Sara

We have the worst paternity leave in Europe. We’re denied the flexible working that would make juggling work and childcare actually possible. And most parents are now worse off on two incomes than our grandparents were on one.

Let’s talk about paternity leave as just one example of how the system is failing parents. Statutory paternity leave means that new dads and non-birthing parents get just two weeks at less than half of minimum wage, while self-employed people get nothing. This contributes to worse mental health in postpartum women, lack of bonding between fathers and non-birthing parents and their babies, financial strain on families and gender inequality from childcare being seen as a woman’s problem from day one.

Two weeks is simply not enough. We have eggs in our cupboard that will last longer than that! And what this means in real terms is that new parents like me are left without the necessary support when they need it most.

When I got pregnant in 2023, at just 15 weeks I was sent to hospital with abdominal pain. We waited 18 hours while doctors and nurses tried to work out the cause of the pain. After about 10 hours they discovered I had an infection and they needed to keep me in to receive IV antibiotics. However, there were no beds available. I sat in the bustling waiting room on hard chairs, feeling exhausted and very vulnerable.

Scared that I would pick up another illness that could harm my baby while we sat in the waiting room, we asked if I could go home and come back in the morning. This wasn’t possible – they said I needed to stay or else I’d have to start the A&E queue again. But they did agree for us to go and sleep in the car, despite the fact I still had an IV line in my arm.

After 18 long hours, we were told I had suspected appendicitis and they needed to take me into surgery to look around with a camera. I was terrified. I begged them to do a scan first to check if the baby was OK and was told very bluntly: “There’s nothing we can do about your baby, but if we wait any longer and it IS appendicitis, it could rupture and you could both die.”

I then had to sit there sobbing while surgeons and anaesthetists told me there were no guarantees of my baby’s safety.

I went down to surgery still sobbing as they administered the anaesthetic, only for them to realise that it wasn’t working because they’d put the anaesthetic into the IV antibiotic tube which must have dislodged while I was trying to sleep in the car.

The whole ordeal was horrific. Although I must say the nursing staff in particular were incredible. They were just operating within a system on its knees.

I thank my lucky stars every day that my baby and I came through it safely but, needless to say, I spent the rest of my pregnancy an anxious wreck. My husband was back at work just a few days after my surgery and, living over two hours away from my family at the time, I started to really struggle.

Fast forward to more than 41 weeks pregnant. After reduced movements, I was told they needed to get the baby out. Only they didn’t have space for an induction at the hospital I was in, so I’d need to travel to another hospital.

In the end, I had to have an urgent C-section, and following a failure to place the epidural, I had to go under general anaesthetic, for which my husband had to leave the operating room.

It’s hard to describe the feeling of not being awake to hear your baby’s first cry. That precious moment everyone tells you about was just gone. I felt robbed and I was struggling massively both mentally and physically.

I lost a lot of blood during the C-section and when I woke, they told us that our daughter had tongue-tie but no one in that hospital was able to cut it, so I’d need to go to another hospital two weeks later to get it sorted.

We went home and my baby struggled to feed due to the tongue-tie. She developed jaundice and I was in agony from trying to feed her. We ended up back in hospital four days later after what I know now was a panic attack. Then, just a few days later, my husband was back at work.

I was left alone, feeling broken, in pain and trying to care for a baby with terrible reflux. My husband felt helpless and spent his days at work worried about me and our baby.

The system failed us. As I sit here writing this after bedtime, almost three years after it all happened, I still feel a bit bitter. Nothing can change our experience, but we can make sure that support for families going forward improves.

Approximately 60% of the UK’s working population are parents and almost all of them have been let down by the country’s system of parental leave and restrictions on flexible working.

On August 27, people across the UK will join the world’s first Parent Strike, taking two hours to demand better paternity leave and flexible working.

Here in Wales, the strike is happening outside the Senedd on Thursday, August 27, from 10am-noon. Speakers including Sarah Rees MS, Kiera Marshall MS, stand-up comedian, writer and presenter Robin Morgan, and myself will be talking to the crowd about why this change is needed now.

If you’d like to join us, sign up at parentstrike.org

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