God Save The King
Ben Wildsmith, Royal Correspondent
When are they going to do something about God Save The King? It’s hard enough for King Charles to project a sense of secure continuity to his troubled people without having to rescue the gig from the Grenadier Guards’ shoegazing dirge before he starts.
Does any other melody plunge the heart into such immediate and profound despond? Its inert droning suggests a ticking clock in the silence of an elderly relative’s front room as you endure a parentally enforced visit instead of seeing your friends on a Sunday afternoon.
It is dry fruit cake and weak tea; The One Show of national anthems next to Cymru’s Breaking Bad banger of a choon. It needs taking out the back of the palace and smothering in a guardsman’s busby.
Core message
His Kingliness looked well, considering recent health problems, and his core message of dialogue amongst faiths remains relevant and worthy of repetition. Again, he made a point of including the faithless in this appeal, which strikes me as the sort of thing that’s going to cause him trouble in the future.
Charles, you see, is the absolute OG of woke. He was talking to trees and diluting the primacy of established religion before Gary Lineker had enraged his first retiree.
Wanting to be ‘Defender of the Faiths’ (plural) is one thing, but including atheists under that umbrella leaves the royal personage prone to accusations of pandering.
In the Tory paradigm of British patriotism, Charles’ Neil-the-hippie tendencies were protected by the prime directive to conserve an established way of doing things. Yes, the heir to the throne probably believed in fairies at the bottom of the garden but that was fine, so long as his eccentricities didn’t interfere with the flow of hierarchical privilege.
With the implosion of Tory Britain, however, the new monarch’s position seems less insulated than ever before. Ironically, the Labour Party which should, as per instructions on the tin, be a problem for monarchy, is anything but.
The party’s perennial quest to win the hearts of nasty bigots causes it to risk rupturing itself in supplication if royalty is so much as mentioned.
God knows how many Union Flags the party possesses but you rarely see any of its cringing representatives without one in shot.
Farageism
The problem for the king, and everyone else, is Farage. It’s becoming clear that Farageism, which in its UKIP expression was overtly jingoistic and UK-specific, has now revealed itself as a constituent part of the wider MAGAverse.
For Nige & co, leaders are anointed by dollars accrued, social media numbers, and military strength.
Victor Orban of Hungary is closer to royalty in that world than any cod-philosophical, supposed possessor of magic blood.
Elon, Victor, Nige, Vladimir, Narender, Xi, and Donald deal in the sort of absolute power that Charles’ ancestors enjoyed.
They won’t be shy in shooting down his liberal notions if it works for them.
Get a better tune, Charles, you’re going to need it.
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Not just the tune – the whole damn family needs to be ditched. Perhaps, the US could acquire them? Considering they fought so hard to eject them, they certainly love them now! When Cymru gains independence – let’s hope we vote to boot them out, a modern, 21st century country doesn’t need such archaic nonsense.
And also devolve the Crown Estate income. Obtained by violent conquest, its a further disgrace that our councils have to pay 100s of thousands of pounds to ensure public access to the beaches and other
“ public land” owned by the crown estate.
I wouldn’t mind a tourist level monarch with robes etc For one couple and one heir. Outings to do a specific ceremony paid by public funds because they draw tourism. Also a lot of people want the (dirty) illusion of cosy continuity. But apart from fees & reasonable expenses for specific ceremonies NO money from us. They don’t need it, they’re stinking rich.
I’m sure there’s adjustments needed to Crown Estate holdings but I haben’t studied it. But they represent exploitation and cruelty so strip them down to tourism puppets.
Sorry Shan, but the evidence would suggest that they have nearly zero draw for tourists*. Most of their expensive events are st up to exclude people like tourists so they could be dropped an few would notice. As Mr Duggan suggests, we would be a whole lot better off without them.
*See the REplublic website for more inofmration on this plus several books explaining why the Royals are bad for the UK.
As well as our national anthem, our pure language is superior to their mongrel esperanto, out national stadium is world class compared to the Twickers’ they’re considering demolishing.
Owain Glyndwr is forever with us, but merely having no royal family is vastly superior to the toe curlingly cringey Charlie Saxe-Coburg Gotha with Camilla Parker-Bowles and the entourage of wannabee hangers on.
Beautifully put.
I can go along with most of your comment , but when you say “. our pure language is superior to their mongrel esperanto ..” I think poor old JJ must be confined to a pretty thick walled bubble. Listen to most Welsh people speak their Welsh and it quickly and consistently drifts into Wenglish or worse. Nowadays Welsh sentences start with “So..” and continue in a much mangled way. No different to how so many Sais mangle their own language, and certainly not better.
It’s not my anthem. Let the English worry about their issues alone. And get Cymru free instead
Since God Save the King is supposed to be the anthem of the UK, then England needs to get its own anthem.
Technically it does.
Back in the 1990s, I attended a Rugby League World Cup final at Wembley Stadium, between England and Australia,
They played Land Of Hope And Glory as the England anthem.