Joeys will be Joeys

Pen Rhyddid

Pen was not keen on featuring the tedious dramas of Reform in Cymru once again – the world is bursting with egos deserving of mockery after all.

But Joey Martin’s performance in the Senedd can’t pass without comment. As a fulsome demonstration of how not to hold a government to account it was exceptional.

As evidence that the £15 million or so, which will pay the wages and fund the staff of the Reform group across this Senedd term, will almost certainly be a ‘stupid waste of taxpayer funds’ it was a shining example. Not the first one and almost certainly not the last, we’ll see if it features in the top ten for 2026 at Christmas.

Incidentally, Pen did email Joey’s office for a response but answer came there none, no doubt the result of a fundamental deficiency of understanding (Pen gets that the Joey and his office couldn’t quite bridge the comprehension gap. After all, Pen does have an inclination towards sesquipedalianism – it’s a fair cop, mea culpa).

Masters of Japes and Jeers

In Tuesday’s plenary young Joey, who pulls off the remarkable feat of appearing baby faced and wizened at one and the same time, scurrilously targeted the people of Sudan, misunderstood the nature of devolution, and whined his way through a bevy of misinformation and baseless accusations. The boy indignant for failing exams where he’s answered questions that have not been asked and have no relevance but who vainly believes that his cleverness, astute analysis, and interpretation are without peer in all the lands of all the kingdoms of God’s own earth.

On Wednesday, like a persistent tic, Joey doubled down, either that or he was under the mistaken impression that the session was an open mic audition for stand up – goes without say that Joey sees himself as the witty scion of Reform UK in Wales (he could be their Mr Bean, at a stretch).

There is an outstanding tradition of cutting wit and scathing commentary in politics. When asked to explain the difference between a misfortune and a calamity, Benjamin Disraeli famously said: “If Gladstone fell into the Thames, that would be a misfortune; and if anybody pulled him out, that, I suppose, would be a calamity.”

When Mitt Romney attacked Barack Obama in 2012 on defence spending by highlighting that the USA had fewer ships in its navy than it had in 1916, Obama used dry wit and sarcasm – respect: “Well, Governor, we also have fewer horses and bayonets, because the nature of our military’s changed. We have these things called aircraft carriers, where planes land on them. We have ships that go underwater, nuclear submarines…”

Here in the UK, at the tail end of the John Major years, a time where the Conservative party were riven with internal conflicts (when are they not?), a young and feisty Tony Blair skewered Major with a “there is one very big difference between us, I lead my party, he follows his”.

Ten years later, the young David Cameron on his first appearance at the despatch box, bit back for the Conservatives, now in opposition, “It’s only our first exchange and already the Prime Minister is asking me the questions. This approach is stuck in the past and I want to talk about the future. He was the future once.”

There are examples galore of weighty and serious politicians using context, wit and intelligence to score political points. Sadly, whilst the ‘bon mot’ is certainly not dead, its spirit has evidently boycotted the luminaries and Joeys of Reform UK in Cymru.

To paraphrase the master of wit and repartee himself – “they are eminent politicians…ones who remember the level of their own age, and can safely be trusted to tell us what that is”.

On to Maker Things

 Enough of Reform UK in Cymru, they are truly tedious and Pen wonders whether they are even deserving of mockery and the minimal level of respect it implies.

The week brings news that the Maker will indeed be journeying from the field to the distant land of London, bearing the hopes and dreams of thousands, marching to his coronation. Will he remake the country in his own image, or will he crash and burn?

From a Cymru perspective he is at least the King of devolution, and a big mate of Uncle Mark Drakeford to boot. That Welsh Labour shopping list must be being brushed off by the Labour devolutionistas, led by MD.

Irony of ironies, too little too late, Welsh Labour may get what they always wanted and wished for from the Starmerite ‘Labour at both ends of the motorway’ era, but in a time of nationalist Plaid Cymru (dare we say a la RT Davies, separatist?) fervour.

And what of Tartan Cymru? The puny, paltry and petty opposition they will clearly face from the intellectually and strategically anaemic Reform UK in Wales will be easily brushed aside.

Meanwhile, the ministers of the new Welsh Government have evidently seized upon their tasks with the joy and eagerness of a puppy with a meaty bone.

There is goodwill aplenty. Their timing is fortuitous – barring another global crisis, chances are high that come the general election of 2029 and the next Senedd election in 2030, the general mood will be perkier (people can only take so much moaning and shittiness until they find reasons to change the record). The Burning Man of Makerfield may well deliver gifts aplenty.

Pen wonders whether this surprising and relatively easy ride will lead to a gradual easing into the comfortable space vacated by their Labour predecessors.

Pen hopes they will stand up and confidently fill the space with innovation, reinvention, and nation building.

Pen does reserve the right to mock them mercilessly either way.