On respect and the young

Neil Anderson

We were taught to respect our elders especially our parents, our supposed betters – priests or princes, any figures of authority. And we were young and impressionable.

It must be right.

That robs the young of agency, of course. They are destined always to be supplicants.

But what if we had respect totally the wrong way around? What if we, our community, our society respected young people? Not for doing, for they are too young, but simply for being.

That we nurture and develop their self-respect?

If we didn’t insult them with rundown schools, under-financed health services, poverty-stricken homes. Authoritarian homes, schools and workplaces. Patronise them with irrelevant role models, often with feet of clay.

Participation

If we offered them participation as real people in the life of real communities in a real democracy?

Greater self-respect would positively impact the attitudes and behaviour of us all, and our relationships with others. We would then be able to treat them as we would wish to be treated.

Instead of accepting our place (sic) as mere consumers of life, we could start to be part of it. And our guide would be internal, not forced upon us from external sources.

Respect seems always in the up direction. Those who have status believe they deserve respect because they have in some sense earned it; being taller, richer, older or being adults is usually enough.

Flawed, though they might concede, hypocrisy covers the cracks. That respect should be beaten into a child is clearly wrong, and has as clearly failed – both them and us.

Have we seniors earned respect, and if so, how exactly? By permitting our environment to be sullied by our waste, our indifference, our over-consumption? Surely not by creating positive and happy lifestyles for all. Just for a few perhaps.

Rights

When we fail to respect young people, we rob them of agency. Over their own rights – always diminished at every opportunity.

Over their own responsibilities – often unexercised, over-ruled by over-anxious parents and schools breeding conformity – intent on order above all else.

I suspect that it is not possible to respect anyone else unless one respects oneself. That respect is from our core, the route to personal growth. From there, we develop ethical awareness, behavioural standards, ambitions, dreams, visions…

Similarly, that self-respect is the basis on which respect for others can occur, but must be earned, beyond courtesy.

There is a case, then, for reconsidering the role that respect could play in our lives and in our society. The modesty and humility that should accompany our imperfections demands it.

An earlier version was first published by www.taxresearch.org.uk on 03 February 2025