Stupid Games Win Stupid Prizes

Ben Wildsmith

As the Senedd election campaign enters its ninth decade, I must admit that its charms are beginning to fade a little for me.

Given that I’ve been a tragic politics obsessive since childhood, whose monomaniacal conversational focus has left me virtually friendless and without any wider perspective of life, I’m guessing I’m far from alone on this one.

Elections used to be like Christmas for people like me. Here was an opportunity to engage unfortunate workmates and relatives about the minutiae of policy detail, all under the cover of helpfully informing their solemn electoral duty.

The good old days of grand philosophical choices offered by candidates steeped in Marx, Mills, Hobbes, Smith, and the rest of the gang allowed for meaty discussions as one blocked the exit from the kitchen or Gents toilet.

For a few glorious weeks, the banalities of pop music and sport were silenced as the awe-inspiring shadow of democratic responsibility fell over us all.

It’s not like that anymore, is it? As political discourse has been reduced to tribal grunting, personal abuse, and imbecilic memes, its grandeur has been eroded and made ugly.

Where once an election was the field of dreams, upon which we projected our finest hopes for the future of humanity, now we slither around in the foul ordure of AI slop and a culture war that seems to be waged against culture rather than over it.

It’s exhausting and lowering even to engage which, presumably, accounts for why its most enthusiastic participants seem entirely unmoved by any appeal to their better nature.

You would think the very least we might expect is that the election be fought on issues that could plausibly be affected by its outcome.

Devolution in Wales is insultingly incomplete, but there remain plenty of policy areas where the Welsh Government holds powers. Instead of big, divergent ideas on health and education, however, we’re having our time wasted by endless dishonest claims around immigration.

For our purposes here, I don’t care what you think about this topic, crack on with whatever conclusions you’ve drawn, and we can duke it out when a UK election is called. To turn an election that cannot change immigration policy at all into an imaginary referendum on it, however, is as barking as it is disrespectful to the process.

Esteem

That process, of course, is not held in equal esteem by all those contesting it. After immigration, the most common talking point I see memed out across the dystopic hellscape of social media is opposition to the expansion of the Senedd.

If we take Andrew RT Davies as the exemplar of all the wrongs I’m outlining here, which is fair, because he is, you will find his focus on this issue to be obsessive.

The schtick is as follows: firstly, we are invited to accept that the entire Welsh Government budget is for ‘our NHS’. Now, leaving aside the plausibility of a right-wing Tory genuinely caring about that, we are then encouraged to believe that the £19 million annual cost of 36 extra MSs has been ripped from the hands of doctors and nurses by ‘separatist’ ideologues who would rather build a golden statue of Mistar Urdd on the cliffs of Llangrannog than treat cancer.

Of all the emotive bilge that is marring this campaign, this issue is the most ludicrous. Those who routinely decry the Senedd as a closed-shop peopled by Cardiff Bay insiders simultaneously oppose a move that is designed to facilitate scrutiny of the government and create a slate of dissenting backbenchers who aren’t beholden to it.

Bobby Sands

Seeking election to a parliament whilst denying its legitimacy has a precedent upon which the Abolish-curious candidates contesting this election might like to reflect. Forty five years ago this week, Bobby Sands was elected as Sinn Fein’s first MP whilst on a hunger strike that would shortly lead to his death in the Maze prison.

Subsequent Sinn Fein MPs have, on principle, refused to take up their seats in Westminster, arguing that to do so would betray their commitment to Republicanism.

So, for those opposing the expansion of the Senedd, the way forward is clear. Any who are elected towards the bottom of constituency results should stand on their beliefs and refuse their seats.

Those, like Davies, who object on the grounds of public expenditure, have a similarly simple option: refund their salaries.

Now, go make a meme out of that.