The Turquoise Tango

Alun Smith

When Dan Thomas resigned as leader of Reform in Wales he cited “personal reasons”. Shortly afterwards it emerged that he had been arrested on suspicion of assault and engaging in controlling or coercive behaviour.

Mr Thomas has said: “I’ve done nothing wrong.”

Given that this remains a live police investigation, there is little more that can sensibly be said about the allegations at this stage. Gwent Police said: “On Sunday the 13th of September, a 45-year-old man from the Aberbargoed area was arrested on suspicion of assault and engaging in controlling or coercive behaviour.”

Mr Thomas has been bailed pending further enquiries.

In the meantime, the turquoise two-piece and tie gang needed a new figurehead. Meetings were held and votes – among themselves, no need to involve the electorate – were had. I wasn’t party to the meetings or the votes, so the following is merely conjecture from a fly that wasn’t on the wall. I imagine, however, things might have gone something like this:

Tie 1: “We need to soften our image a bit.”

Two-piece 1: “I agree, far too much testosterone flying around.”

Tie 2: “Yes, and also, much has been made of this disconnect between English and Welsh in the chamber, they’re saying we’re all for England.”

Two-piece 2: “So it’s settled then, we need to elect a leader and deputy who are female and Welsh-speaking?”

Turquoise in harmony: “Yes, that will definitely work!”

Sigh.

No, guys, it definitely won’t work and here’s why. The people of Wales are not so stupid as to fall for a clear and obvious play straight out of the “Tory handbook of public relations”. The thinking that people in Wales will vote for you because you’re female and Welsh-speaking is utterly woolly. It’s shallow.

Thatcher wasn’t awful for Wales because she was a woman, she was awful because of her policies. The same goes for May and her “hostile environment”, Truss and her hostile budget or Badenoch and her hostile… everything! Welsh and English have equal status in the Senedd, so it’s a moot point anyway. The content and context of what you say is what’s relevant, not which language you choose to say it in.

WhatsApp

Reform Wales’ new deputy Laura Anne Jones was suspended from the Senedd for 14 days following an investigation into her use of an anti-Chinese racial slur in a WhatsApp group.

Meanwhile, the new leader’s husband, Emmett Jenner, faced criticism over a social media post responding to a message from Conservative HQ which said: “I want girls who are growing up today to know that they can achieve anything they want.”

His response was: “Like fertilising eggs and providing Y chromosomes.”

Mr Jenner has said the account was intended as parody and that its posts were deliberately provocative.

I don’t care what language you say it in or what gender you identify as.

So Reform has responded to the resignation of a leader who has been arrested on suspicion of assault and controlling or coercive behaviour by appointing a woman whose husband has faced criticism over his social media posts, alongside a deputy who was suspended from the Senedd over an anti-Chinese racial slur.

Reform don’t get it. They don’t get Britain and they most assuredly don’t “get” Wales.

Bump

Farage appeared at the Senedd to announce the new leader and described recent events as “a bump in the road”, saying the party would “carry on as if nothing has happened”.

And there you have it. Reform don’t care. In fact, they have rewarded failure with promotion. Laura Anne Jones was suspended from the Senedd for her anti-Chinese remarks; now she’s deputy leader. It’s absurd.

I read somewhere that Helen Jenner was inspired to enter politics after seeing Farage “make a lot of sense” on a breakfast television show.

On what, Helen? On what subject does Farage make sense about anything that doesn’t involve his own enrichment? You’ve known him since your UKIP days, since your Brexit Party days. Both parties, by the way, were categorically unionist and had no interest in the wellbeing of Wales or the Welsh.

Revulsion

I don’t know about anyone else, but the only thing Farage engenders in me when I see him on the telly is a feeling of exasperated revulsion.

A condition shared, apparently, by Plaid Cymru’s new MS, Sarah Cooper-Lesadd. I was sceptical of her motives at first, but having read her statement I believe she’s on the level.

For those still doubting, read the story of Mortimer and Glyndŵr. Like Mortimer, her eyes were closed; now they’re open.

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