Don’t be a knob, do your Job

Pen Rhyddid

Senedd Cymru 2026 is in full swing and already we have had plenty of performative folly from the newbie RUKer Faragistes.

Top of the list comes JÔ’C who took advantage of a very early opportunity to speak in the chamber with what he clearly believed would be a majestic culture war ‘gotcha’ for Ron ‘he’s definitely worth it’, the new First Minister.

Worth watching as he is gently schooled, and the light of understanding slowly dawns, along with a glorious sunrise reddening of his chops as this is followed by awareness that he’s just made a bit of a tit of himself. JÔ’C indeed.

Not to be outdone, the new RUKing shadow for Finance and Government Efficiency (more of this later!) has scored a hat trick already!

‘Are you OK hun?’ Parry-Jones, started with a strange post about neurodivergent friendly toilet signage, defending himself when challenged by sharing that some of his friends have told him he may be autistic.

The dissonance continues as he accuses the Senedd of being performative for flying the Ukraine flag as a symbol of Welsh support as they resist the Russian invasion – it is a sign of the welcome we have provided to large numbers of Ukrainian refugees too.

The instantly forgettable, whatever his name is, leader of the RUKers has backed this up, perhaps losing sight of the optics given that one of his predecessors is in the slammer for being a bought and paid for Russian mouthpiece.

But the icing on the cake was young Cai’s assertion that two laptops and a mobile phone for each MS was a waste of money. A sum he then calculated wrongly (Shadow Minister of Finance remember) and a demonstration that he has no grasp of the nature of his job as an MS, or the tools he will require.

Carpenters and Joiners use a lot of different hammers when they work, using the right one in the right place, for the right job.

MSs get a laptop for their personal use at all times and have one permanently assigned to them in the Chamber for plenary business. Basic tech in a modern world – no doubt young Cai would be horrified to work in a modern office where some people have multiple screens, a desktop, a laptop and (horrors!) two mobile phones.

Value for money?

Just to prove that back of the envelope calculations are not that hard Mr Parry-Jones – let’s say you’re being paid roughly £80k every year for this four year term (that’s £80k x 4 = £320k), we’ll add the standard 30% cost of employment calculation to that (that’s £320k x 130% = £416k).

Let’s add office costs and other expenses for four years and round this out to a cool estimate of £500k that you will be costing Welsh taxpayers over the course of this Senedd term.

Yes, that is correct, flag, tech and sign hating Cai will be costing the Welsh taxpayer half a million quid for his valuable contributions to intelligent public debate and scrutiny…

You’re not cheap mate, Pen’s advice:

‘Stop being a knob and do your job’ – Finance and Government Efficiency was it?

Tech, signage and flags won’t save any money, perhaps fewer freeloading performative members would be the greatest efficiency of all?

All this is particularly pertinent as ‘You Okay Hun?’ seems to think he’s a Cardiff Councillor and has identified three roads in the city to be changed from 20mph to 30mph – perhaps he should take a breath and try and understand his role as member of the Senedd and shadow Cabinet member for the opposition.

Indentured Servitude

 Whilst Reform do seem to have the monopoly on utter knobbery, Ken ‘Skating on thin ice’, interim leader of the poor dabs at Welsh Labour, can certainly manage to paint himself and his party in a pisspoor light too.

Apparently, Labour in Wales can’t survive without sucking at the teat of its English comrade, upon whom it is utterly reliant for succour and the resources needed to function. This is not only patently rubbish (after all, how did Cymru Tartan make it into government without a benign teat upon which to suckle if this is truly a prerequisite for success in Cymru?), but it also shows the world how deeply subservient the Labour machine in Cymru has become.

Pen feels for them after their drubbing in the elections, I really do. But it is bloody hard to maintain sympathy for such a pathetic bunch of dependents, who need strangers from another land to hold their hand at all times. Break free and show some backbone and ambition ffs – no wonder the people of Cymru turned their backs on you.

Feel the Burn

 That same English teat seems destined for a new master soon. The constituency of Makerfield plucked from political obscurity to briefly be the political nexus point for England’s titanic power struggles. Pen thinks the Andy will win comfortably, toddle on to the Palace of Westminster, unseat the Starmerbot, and change the language, perhaps even the direction, of the sitting UK government.

Great news for Cymru Tartan if true, Met Mayor Burn the Ham is a devolutionary (like a revolutionary but nowhere near as radical).

His arrival may be the door through which Your Worth It can seize the treasures he so wants on Cymru’s behalf. Policing, Justice, Fiscal Powers, the Crown Estates, and, whisper it, the HS2 pot of gold. Burning Man can even say that all of these were always Labour ideas (they were) so everybody wins! Hooray!

Pen is signing off as no more space in this column, despite plenty of action all around – politics rocks, eat your heart out crappy soap operas.